Who would like to achieve in their relationships, a pleasant feeling to people and to themselves, through an effective communication that does not require training or specialized knowledge learned? But there are two things, two simple secrets that are totally ignored by all who participate, total unconsciousness.
In this article, you will not find, as is often the case, means, methods, or techniques that can be done to improve communication, because those solutions or communication techniques are only reactions to correct a previous lacuna concerning other Solutions that have not worked but two simple secrets in order to be aware of communicating well with people. Before presenting these two secrets, we can observe without judging, what could hinder the achievement of healthy communication and even make it possible?
Do you know the biggest obstacles to effective communication?
It is impossible to communicate effectively if there are people in a relationship who think they are dominant. When a person thinks he is more important, more educated, older, richer, stronger and has more power over the other, can we really communicate effectively and without fear of losing something essential?
People, without realizing it, seek to be right not to lose face wishing to win. They are obsessed by their image and forget their kind, free and fair nature. The need to be recognized, to be appreciated, to be loved becomes his reason for being. In truth, they have never been aware of their true reason for being by them.
Who has not been to a meeting and has realized that the most dominant person was the one who was not aware of others, but only focused to be right and compel others to accept for fear, their message or their desire?
Who was never a child and observed the adults that forced him to accept his ideas and never try to understand them, or even give him the opportunity to express himself without receiving judgments and criticism?
Who in a couple has never lived a communication that soon became a dispute, since the one or that has a dominant position, could frighten the other by means of threats, conditions and verbal or physical abuse, to control the life of The other person not to lose something essential for their happiness or their survival?
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If you want to understand and communicate effectively, would not it be easier to have no psychological barrier from the power of domination?
Do you multiply the same error in your communication stage?
Good communication means being well first, then communicating! Therefore, there can be no effective communication, if at first people are not well in a relationship.
You can invent billions of ways to communicate, but if the base is wrong, if the basis is for someone to feel bad, then you will continue to multiply the same mistake without being aware.
Many people work the other way round, believing that effective communication is what brings well-being. Well-being is not a goal of satisfying a future idea. But an awareness in his imagination about a state of being “good” before doing something and thus be at the same time that we do something.
But, like almost everyone, you have the deep habit of putting importance in “doing”, in communication and forgetting your truths, your states of being in each moment?
First secret: be aware of yourself
The foundation, the foundation of clear and effective communication between people begins with the relationship and not the division. And to be in relationship, you should not be aware of yourself, to know yourself?
Two basic things are part of your human nature and are your feelings and your emotions . You must state your feelings and express your emotions to communicate effectively and clearly.
Feelings tell you you’re truth at any time about whether you are okay (your nature) or if it is wrong (against your nature). Can you be aware of what you are and what you feel? Since his feelings inform him of his truth in every moment. If you are well, then you are in your natural state of love, unity, joy, justice, acceptance, and understanding. If you are wrong, then there is fear or guilt that are not natural states, then an error of your thinking, a judgment.
Emotion expresses your current feeling of well-being (acceptance) or discomfort (judgment) and thus creating your reality. Can you be aware of what you are choosing, thinking, doing, saying, wishing, expressing, wanting, dreading and seeking in relation to others? You have 5 natural emotions and when the judgment of others is made to feel guilty then your emotions become false trying to suppress them, hide them or control them.
That first secret is already in you and you do not have to learn anything to communicate it well, just be attentive to what you feel and what you express in your relationships.
When you are in a very dark room with venomous snakes, you know immediately what it means to be alert.
If you are not attentive to yourself, by default, you are focused on your desires, and therefore divide, separate the relationship, which hinders communication. You and people will show a deceptive appearance, but their truths are different.
Second secret: Be attentive to others
Can you be attentive to others, if you are not attentive to yourself? This second secret comes into existence, without any effort, when you are attentive to yourself, your feelings and your emotions, as it is a natural consequence.
You must start with yourself and not with others. Because if you seek to be attentive to others before yourself, then this is not attention, but the fear of losing something essential that another person gives concerning your needs. You live only for the other person and that type of communication is unidirectional.
The two secrets are actually a secret to good communication being aware and attentive to you in the relationship.
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You can see the reasons why communication is so difficult. People are not aware and attentive to their feelings because others have denied their truths. They are not aware and attentive to their emotions because they have repressed, controlled, measured, since others have judged their experiences and actions.