The more you seek to forget, the more you think about it! Whether you are alone or having fun, does not change anything, you think about your ex-lover and you probably look for ways to forget him.
But do you really want to forget it or would you like him to not forget it, since he probably left it? Would he like to free himself from his grief, hoping to return with him?
When you see clearly how your thought is created, that painful thought of sadness or emptiness that grief will come to an end. And to get there, you should observe rather than think.
There is no miracle solution
When you look for solutions in order to get rid of your grief, you react by habit instead of acting. You repeat the old past instead of creating a present and a new future.
How many times have you tried to find a magic solution to erase your ore in the blink of an eye? Listen to your friends advise you to have fun or tell them that you deserve someone better than him?
You know all the means and you seek in total unconsciousness, other means that can provide immediate, but temporary, satisfaction. These solutions come from everyone else, outside of you, seeking to forget in your mind, what you feel in your soul, in your state of being.
The only solution that works for you is yours and you are observing and accepting that situation, without thinking, that you become aware of the choice that is offered to you and that way you will be permanently free from that penalty, with or without it.
Observe the situation without thinking
There are two observation points to consider. First the reality in the outer world and the inner truth, which is its feeling.
Reality is a consequence, a natural result, of a process of creation whereas truth is what launches that creation through a state of being.
A state of being is both a feeling and also what you are at that moment. For example, if I ask myself “how do I feel?” And I feel calm, it’s because I’m calm.
We cannot change reality, since we have no control over it. However, we have control of our states of being that create our reality. Consequently, if you do not like this reality, just choose a new state of being and create a new reality.
And if you react, having the same resentment without realizing it, then it will recreate the same truth in you and in it, regardless of reality. In other words, you seek to appear to be well before others, to hide their true feelings.
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But most human beings have forgotten their feelings and their emotions by belief in others, by the transmitted education of “controlling their emotions” by judgment, reason or “denying their feelings” by fear or denial of itself. In this way, you react instead of choosing something new, since no one makes you notice that choice.
Accept reality and its truth
When you observe that you cannot change the reality, the situation, or that you have no control over others and that you accept that situation for what they are, as something temporary, then your habit of judging by reason is replaced by the intention to understand, that you have created that situation in total unconsciousness.
When you look at yourself, your feeling of sadness and that you accept it as a part of you that must exist to evolve, then your habit of forgetting is replaced by the consciousness of choosing your states of being. Accepting and recognizing those uncomfortable feelings, you return to calm and it is then that another state of being could be born in you and thus choose freely, the one that does you good.
Healing consists in accepting his feeling without denying it or fleeing, it consists in accepting that reality without judging it and in this way the pain simply disappears. And when the pain will disappear, then you will no longer think of it with sorrow or grief.
Joy is to choose freely, what you would like to create, to experience in relation to that situation. Give it a sense and try in feeling, the consequences of a new reality and a new truth.
Do you choose to forget that man in his feelings or to find him again to share his errors and his awareness? What do you choose? What does your conscience tell you at the moment?
What do you choose to live in relation to your ex-lover?
If you choose to see your ex-lover might reconsider your relationship with you, what matters is to be well, regardless of the choice of him.
It is important at this stage to accept reality and its feeling. You must accept that you are not the only person in the relationship.
It is by observing your attitude and your own, that you will not experience any disappointment, but rather a great awareness, if you accepted your feeling and reality, then it will be simple for you to accept that in others.
As a result, do not seek to understand, according to you, the reasons why your partner has left, but to understand, according to him, what he does not like about their behavior in the relationship. That understanding is an observation without judgment or denial.
You should observe the responses at the level of your feelings and not your mind or your own. He has left her, not for reasons, but for feelings where he did not feel well or where his human nature was not included or respected.
Obviously, from habit, people say reasons or justifications, but the truth is not in the conditioned mind, but in the soul, in the feelings.
In that imaginative process before the encounter, you must follow well defined stages to be prepared:
How to contact him to have an encounter in order to speak and not return with him?
Observe and accept, the mistakes you have made to him, if you do not know them, then ask them what he will surely tell them.
To understand that you have been educated that in a loving relationship you must obtain from man something, to have need of him, instead of bringing something and that way be both well.
Say again, how disappointed you are of his behavior towards him and that that will allow him to choose differently in the future.
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End the conversation by asking a question, such as: If you would ever like to continue the conversation with me, do you have any idea how to find us?
In this way he will never feel forced, but free. If during the encounter he judges and criticizes his mistakes, then at that moment, you will feel good and thus imagine your peace of mind not to continue with him in a similar relationship.
After that encounter, you will think no more about him, but what you are in your feelings and always accept your states of being, regardless of the situation.